


Christmas Miracle

by BlankLiterature



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, F/F, Temporary Character Death
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-24
Updated: 2016-02-24
Packaged: 2018-05-22 22:37:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,886
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6096214
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BlankLiterature/pseuds/BlankLiterature
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Future fic. Emma and Regina are together; Emma tries to fulfill Regina's Christmas wish and ends up getting involved in an accident and dying. Regina copes with losing the person she loves yet again, but maybe not all hope is lost just yet.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Christmas Miracle

**Author's Note:**

  * For [ShipsInTheKnight](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ShipsInTheKnight/gifts).



> I'm sorry, I changed your prompt a little bit because I'm not the best at working out all the magic stuff… I hope you can still enjoy this!

It's been five years today. Five whole years without her, and you don't even know how you've made it this long. In the back of your mind, you know it's been all for Henry. Your son had just lost one of his mothers, and as much as your grief kept and still keeps telling you that you'd rather just end it so maybe you could be with Emma again in whatever afterlife there might be, your motherhood has kept you in check and reminded you that he could not lose you too. He was just a teenager, and had already been through so much – and, truth be told, you never trusted Snow or David, much less Rumple, to take care of him. So you had to stay.

But he's 19 now, and off in college, coming home only once a year. He's finally really discovering the world. And he's turned into such a mature and strong young man; you wonder if he still needs you around at all.

You know all of this is still grief talking; most days, you can just get by, sometimes even without giving you too much thought. But on anniversaries and dates like that, it gets harder. And truth is, it still hurts. It took you so long – a lot longer than just five years – to get over Daniel and decide you could indeed try to love again. It took a while longer still for you and Emma to actually admit what you felt for each other, because that kind of thing didn't come easily to either of you.

But finally, you had. You had worked through it together and opened up to each other, with Henry possibly being even happier about it than the two of you. You had both found, in him and in each other, a family – and you were about to adopt another child together. And then, out of nowhere, it was all gone, in the stupidest way possible – and it was your fault.

And that was what hurt the most, what made the grief the hardest to bear. Again, you had lost someone you loved, and it was because of you. Because you had mentioned in passing that you wanted a bigger Christmas tree that year, and Emma had tried to be chivalrous as usual and taken it upon herself to surprise you with one. That had forced her to drive out of town… and a drunk driver had made sure she'd never come back.

You never allowed yourself to have another Christmas tree after that; you never even allowed yourself to celebrate Christmas at all after that; it's not like you had a reason to anyway. You still send Henry to his grandparents, because he deserves to have a nice couple of days and a nice dinner and lunch with family – and the Charmings, although they are also still grieving, have always had a positive enough outlook to keep the holiday spirit up, for Neal's sake and also for their own, since their own personal brand of coping has always been to never let anything bring them down and keep going forward in spite of the pain. And you still spoil your son with gifts as you always have, because he is not to blame at all and he shouldn't have to pay the price for your actions.

But you spend these days alone, like you're doing now. And you know it's equally self-punishment, because you shouldn't get to celebrate when your desire to do it was what caused you to lose the woman you loved (and her son and parents to lose her too), being in too much pain to even consider celebrating anything at all, and being too ashamed to face all those people who you have now _twice_ robbed of her.

For some reason, though, this year hurts more than usual. Maybe because it's the first year that you don't have to just send Henry away for two days, but effective miss two days of having him around from the very few he'll already have back home. Maybe because five years brings a new weight to it, a new sense of being set in stone, and even less hope of ever having her back. You don't exactly know why, but you know there's even more pain in your heart, and you just want it to stop. And it makes you think again about what you can do to make that so.

You know, deep down, that that's possibly the most morbid line of thought to have during the holidays, but that doesn't stop you. After a while, you reach the conclusion that a sleeping curse would probably be the best option. You'd still be there in a way, so you wouldn't force Henry to lose you too – and you know very well that he's still the one that could wake you up from it every time. So you could just not have to feel anything at all for most of the year, and then spend time with whenever he came to visit, which would at least make the pain slightly more bearable, and go right back to not exactly existing the moment he left. You're not sure Henry himself would be okay with that arrangement… but you are sure he wouldn't refuse to wake you up, even if you did it against his will.

You start going through all the ingredients in your mind, trying to check if you have everything you need, already planning for when he goes back to college in around a week. That keeps you distracted for a while, and it also gives you an odd sense of calm. You take comfort in knowing the pain you're feeling right now won't last too much longer.

You are taken out of your daydreaming by a noise coming from the living room, and you wonder why Henry decided to come back a whole day early from his grandparents'. Maybe he just forgot something, or wanted to quickly check up on you – he's become quite protective. In a way, he always was, but now he's old enough that he can actually act on that, without having a whole family holding him back and telling him he's just a kid. You sigh deeply, because you really wish he'd busy himself enjoying the holidays, and not worrying about you.

But then you hear a voice calling out your name… and it's not his. And it's also not Snow's or David's or anyone else who you'd perhaps expect to come looking for you on Christmas Eve – not many people would, but maybe Kathryn, or who knows. But it doesn't sound like any of them. It doesn't sound like anything you ever expected to hear again…

It _does_ , however, sound exactly like Emma. Emma, when she'd call out your name in that way only she ever did, almost missing the first syllable entirely… that's what it sounds like. But it can't be her, can it…? You were the one to identify the body… you went to the funeral. It couldn't possibly be her.

You wonder if you might have simply fallen asleep and this is a dream… but judging by how conscious you are, and by the fact that you most definitely did feel the pinch you just gave yourself, that's also probably not it.  Finally, you decide to go down stairs and investigate, after hearing yet a second call that also sounded just like her.

Y ou reach the bottom of the stairs right as she's leaving your study, probably having gone there to look for you, and you have to pinch yourself again to make sure you're alive and awake, because you can't believe your own eyes. You feel all the blood draining from your face, quickly bracing yourself on the  banister to avoid falling down. 

She doesn't see you immediately, but does so after a few moments, probably having heard the gasp you couldn't hold back and searching for its source. And then she runs to you and pulls you into her arms, and you can most definitely feel  _that_ too  as you lean on her, and she just keeps holding you up because everything is spinning and you can't breathe and all you can do is cling to her as hard as you can, as if she'll disappear in smoke if you don't.

She whispers next to your ear, reassuring you that it's really her, that she's there and not going to leave again, that she missed you do much… and you can't for the life of you understand  _how_ , but that's not the time for questions and you'll gladly forsake understanding if it means you get to have her back.

Finally  you calm down enough to pull away and look at her. She looks exactly like she did the day she left, same clothes and everything… and she looks fine. Perfectly fine; no bruises, no blood, nothing. You take her in, feeling so many emotions washing you over at the same time, trying to conciliate the image in front of you with the fact that you never thought you'd see her again,  until you absolutely can't resist anymore and simply throw your arms around her all over again.

Y ou feel movement and realize she lifted you up, just like that, and is carrying you to the couch. You shake your head, chuckling softly, because it's just so fitting… but you make no move to stop her at all, and simply let her sit down with you still on her lap. It's not like you want to be any far from her, and by how tight her arms are around you, you'd say she feels the same.

And then she kisses you, and that's probably when you're  _completely sure_ that it's really her; and you kiss her back as fiercely as you can, because it's Emma,  _your_ Emma, and somehow you have her back. 

When you have to stop because neither of you can breathe, she starts talking, still holding you close. And apparently… it turns out she pretty much put the whole underworld upside down and might or might not have won a bet against Hades himself, just to be allowed back. It turns out she kept trying and trying and trying, through all those years, because she had to come back… back to you and to Henry and to her parents. Back to the people she loves, and who love her; back to her family, which is where she belongs. And she did.

Part of you is in shock; you've always been told death was one of the very few things not even magic could meddle with or change. But then again… you wonder why you're even so surprised. You has also been told time-traveling was another one of those things, and Zelena had managed to go around that – and Emma herself had been the one to travel back in time and return. She's the Savior… she's done things that seemed impossible, over and over. This is a big one… probably the biggest. But she still did it. She still came back for you, yet again, like she always does.

And if this is not what they call a Christmas miracle… then you really don't know what is.


End file.
